Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXJust give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX