“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

I’ve always believed that a lot of the trouble in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other.

Freedom now appeared, to disappear no more forever.

You either evolve or you disappear.

Once you have started seeing the beauty of life, ugliness starts disappearing. If you start looking at life with joy, sadness starts disappearing.

My death will be the disappearance of a particular pattern in the water.

Political division, based on color, is entirely artificial; and when it disappears, so will the domination of one color group by another.

Each one of us has the power to change the world. Shed light, and darkness disappears.

Racism will disappear when it’s no longer profitable, and no longer psychologically useful. And when that happens, it’ll be gone. But at the moment, people make a lot of money off of it, pro and con.