Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARXWhoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX