Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXWhoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX






