Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANI’m a hero with coward’s legs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN