Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
STEVEN WRIGHTI think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHT