Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX






