Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX