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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.

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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Time wounds all heels.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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