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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.

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Education Love One Liner Reading

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX

Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Funny Hero Heroine Tits
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
Time wounds all heels.
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Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
I only write first editions.
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Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Best Friend Book Darkness Dog Friendship Read
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West

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