I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXI love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX