While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXA very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX






