Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX