Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERSNever slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERSIf advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
WILL ROGERSWhen I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERSDiplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERSI love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
WILL ROGERSEven if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
WILL ROGERSDo the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
WILL ROGERSEverything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
WILL ROGERSHalf our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERSThe short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERSWe always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERSNever miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERSThe more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERSThere are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERSThe best way out of a difficulty is through it.
WILL ROGERSDon’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS