There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERSWe can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS