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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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Die Dog Heaven Want
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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Finding Life Rush Save Time
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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Advice Deep Finding Hole Quit
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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Deep Different Ignorance One Liner Reality Subject
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Fact Government Joke Report Watch
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
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Government Match Men Play
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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Election Man Politics Unfortunate
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
WILL ROGERS

Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS

Ashame Gossip Live Parrot Sell
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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Fight Ignorant Quick
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading

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