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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
WILL ROGERS

Break Hear Horse People Smart
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
WILL ROGERS

Birthday Experience Old Wait Worth
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS

Country Office Politics
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

Die Dog Heaven Want
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Earn Human Nature Impress Money People
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
WILL ROGERS

Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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