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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS

Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
WILL ROGERS

Community Ideas Prohibition Work
If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

Die Dog Heaven Want
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
WILL ROGERS

Association Learning Man People Reading Smart
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
WILL ROGERS

Difficult Hard Time Inspirational One Liner
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
WILL ROGERS

Farmer Optimistic
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
WILL ROGERS

Death Difference Government Meet Tax Time
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERS

Fact Government Joke Report Watch
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
WILL ROGERS

Account Democracy Government Nation People
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

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