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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

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Bagwalas

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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Car Funny Yourself
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Believe Funny Myself Police Reading See Stop Time
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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Children Funny Hands Himself Mom
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
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Children Deep Difference Growth Learning Old Philosophy See Teaching Yourself
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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Animal Funny Herself Laughter Milk
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Future One Liner Planning
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Fight Funny Gift Myself Room
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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Friendship Gift Myself Sex
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Children Friendship Himself

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