I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHTI like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
STEVEN WRIGHT