Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN