In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANI told you I was sick.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I told you I was sick.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN