I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGANChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN