I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGANChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
-
-
Its all in the mind, you know.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
God made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






