A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I told you I was sick.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






