Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






