If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN