I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I told you I was sick.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN