Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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