Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANI’m a hero with coward’s legs.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






