We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGANRender any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGANThis silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGANYou can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGANEducation isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGANTo Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGANI’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGANHer mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
SPIKE MILLIGANIn India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGAN