Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANI spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I told you I was sick.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN