If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGANAre you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
SPIKE MILLIGAN