I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGANEducation isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN