My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGANEducation isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN