Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






