Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN