Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
SPIKE MILLIGANI shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN