My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDAt twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
-
-
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD