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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too

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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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Another Came Cement Felt Hand Neighborhood Real Some Tough
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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Interrupt Spoken Wife Year
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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Country Dog Every Leave Pyramid Room Some
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately

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