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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second

Bagwalas

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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet

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