70+ Lily Tomlin Quotes | Minimalist Quotes

Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Human Invention Language
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
LILY TOMLIN

Cat Development Dog Sensitive Suffering Yourself
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way
The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
LILY TOMLIN

Belief Better Possible Start World
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
LILY TOMLIN

Equality Money Pay People Work
Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
LILY TOMLIN

Greatness Growth World
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Lying Make Up True Yourself
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Public Reality Time Yourself
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
LILY TOMLIN

Consumption Life Live People Style
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Sorry Yourself
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLIN

Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself

Lily Tomlin Quotes

Famous American actresses