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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.

Lily Tomlin

There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Inspirational Motivational Perspective Soft Try
What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
LILY TOMLIN

Expectation Philosophy Yourself
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
LILY TOMLIN

Boredom Hide Reveal Worst
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLIN

Direct Yourself
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN

Animal Eat Food Funny Myself
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN

Life Myself Reality Small Style
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN

Hypocrisy Life Meaning
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
LILY TOMLIN

Change Comedy Humor Present Ridicule
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN

Career Important Myself Regret
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk

I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.

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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.

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