“Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.”

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.

Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

After all, in private, we’re all misfits.

I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.

What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.

Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.

Gray hairs are death’s blossoms.

Get rich or die tryin’.

A true opium of the people is a belief in nothingness after death – the huge solace of thinking that for our betrayals, greed, cowardice, murders we are not going to be judged.

We should have been wiser; we should have died yesterday.

Day’s lustrous eyes grow heavy in sweet death.

Whatever lives, lives to die in sorrow. We engage our hearts, and grasp after the things of this world, only to undergo the pang of losing them.

Let the people who never find true love keep saying that there’s no such thing. Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.