“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.”

I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

The road to success is always under construction.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.

I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.

You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down.

A lie cannot live.

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.

A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.

No one ever gets tired of loving. But everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, and hurting.

Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.

One of the expedients of party to acquire influence, within particular districts, is to misrepresent the opinions and aims of other districts.

Is politics nothing other than the art of deliberately lying?