Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLINWe are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN