Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLINEvery day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN