There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLINWhat I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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