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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

Lily Tomlin

Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Life Myself Pervert Thinking
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Dirty Myself Sex
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
LILY TOMLIN

Moral People Photograph
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
LILY TOMLIN

Ego Infinity One Liner Time Trip
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Hands Ladder Road Success
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
LILY TOMLIN

Book Hypocrisy Reading View Yourself
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin
If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Inspirational Motivational Perspective Soft Try
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way

I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

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Popular Authors

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