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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

Lily Tomlin

If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Mindset Yourself
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
LILY TOMLIN

Book Hypocrisy Reading View Yourself
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
LILY TOMLIN

Equality Money Pay People Work
If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLIN

Direct Yourself
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Change Enough Myself Transformation
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Thinking Worry
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
LILY TOMLIN

Moral People Photograph
If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Hairs Library Woman
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Best Drugs Mindset One Liner Truth
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN

Home Myself Teacher Thinking
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLIN

Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Lose Play Share Space Win
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way

Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

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Popular Authors

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