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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Lily Tomlin

There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN

Life Myself Reality Small Style
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Lying Make Up True Yourself
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN

Hypocrisy Life Meaning
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
LILY TOMLIN

Book Hypocrisy Reading View Yourself
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
LILY TOMLIN

Cost Live Money People Reason
There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Fabric Skin
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN

Career Important Myself Regret
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
LILY TOMLIN

Born Growth Myself Place
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Lily Tomlin Quotes