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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

Lily Tomlin

If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN

Hypocrisy Life Meaning
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Best Drugs Mindset One Liner Truth
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Imagination Myself
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Deep Development Language Need Personal
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN

Life Myself Reality Small Style
The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
LILY TOMLIN

Belief Better Possible Start World
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.
LILY TOMLIN

Book Hypocrisy Reading View Yourself
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
LILY TOMLIN

Name Top Yourself
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLIN

Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
LILY TOMLIN

Cat Development Dog Sensitive Suffering Yourself

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.

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Popular Authors

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