There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LEWIS GRIZZARDKinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
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I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
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Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
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Spring time is the land awakening.
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Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
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There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
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I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
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I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
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Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
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The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
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There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
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Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
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Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
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When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
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It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
LEWIS GRIZZARD