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My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.

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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
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I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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Before you get married you should meet your fiance’s parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
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