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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

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Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Do Life Practice Work Yourself
The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
PHYLLIS DILLER

Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year
I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Come Have May Live Onion Ought Side So Sport
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Any Argument Bank Been Cab Country Just Robbed Three Time
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Aim Fool High Off Shoot
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Dog Every Go Howl Near Stove Time
self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Better Ity None Self
When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beach Come Even Go Tide
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Advice Away Bottle Children Follow Keep Transquilzer Work
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Contraceptive Nudity People
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Christmas Day Job Look Next Office Party
All mothers are working mothers.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Mother Working
Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
PHYLLIS DILLER

After Ambulance Attack Close Doctor Door Heart Okay Provide
You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beautiful Bribe Comedy Everything Goes Got Realize Somebody Step Train

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