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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Common Day Husband Married Only Same Thing
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Accidental Day Enjoy Ever Gin Iron Only Steam Time
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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Brisk Excercise Good Idea Sit
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
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Ago Ask Fresh Grass Hour Lady Milk Said Three Waiter
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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All Life Own Real Thing
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
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I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
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I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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self-pity is better than none.
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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