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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Finish Half Hour Last Minute
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In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Drive License Made Most Now Old Sense Sixteen State Year
They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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Age Come How Feel Me Old Rear See Should
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Love Man Marry Money Nothing Tennis
self-pity is better than none.
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My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
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Just Justice Like Look Photograph
Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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Bedroom Dead Nickname Nothing Happen Sea Waterbed
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want
Before you get married you should meet your fiance’s parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
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Before Enough Fiance Get Marry Meet Officer Parent Parole
My body’s in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
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Bad Body Phase Prescription Shape Such Underwater Wear

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