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Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

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Children Divorce Father Get Now Outside Remember

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Common Day Husband Married Only Same Thing
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Hat On Screw Wrinkle
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bury Clear Dead Dinner Food Phase Serve Table Three
I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
PHYLLIS DILLER

Feature Made never That What
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beaten Before Him Husband Lick Mixer Want
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beneath Breast Knee Law Left Mother Out Pain Trick Tuned
… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Dust Furniture Love Name Write Yera
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beuty Estimate Hour Seven Shop Spent
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bd Commemorate Cook Country Kid Person Thanksgiving Through
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Exactly Friend Laugh Look Man Passport Photo Picture Realize
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year

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