Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
MARK TWAINWrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
MARK TWAIN