Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
MARK TWAINNever tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN