What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINNever tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN -
I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAIN -
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
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Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
MARK TWAIN -
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN -
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN







