Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAINSanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAINPatriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAINIf Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAINWhat is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINThe right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAINAny emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAINIf you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAINThe secret to getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAINA banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAINYou can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
MARK TWAINThe easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAINDon’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
MARK TWAINClothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
MARK TWAINThe two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAINClassic – a book which people praise and don’t read.
MARK TWAINGiving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN