If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAINThe more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
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Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAIN