I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAINI haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAINApril 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAINA half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
MARK TWAINThe human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAINWhen angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAINIf you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
MARK TWAINIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
MARK TWAINThe secret to getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAINLoyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAINI do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAINThe best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAINMy books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAINIn the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINI did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAINI must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
MARK TWAINYou can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
MARK TWAIN