The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAINAll right, then, I’ll go to hell.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN -
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN -
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN -
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
MARK TWAIN -
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
MARK TWAIN -
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN -
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN -
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
MARK TWAIN -
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN -
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN -
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
MARK TWAIN -
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
MARK TWAIN