I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXI am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX